Last year on this day, Sushant and I got married at a temple in Nandi Hills, Bangalore. After 13 years of courtship, we decided to take the plunge. I am agnostic. These religious things, big fat weddings with too many guests are not my cup of tea, so I always thought if I ever get married I would have a simple wedding or a court marriage. But in India we hardly get a say in our weddings, right? So, court marriage was out of the picture, and we had to give in and settle for a small, intimate 120 guest wedding. But not without having a few of our criteria like it should be budget-friendly, intimate, fun, sustainable, and eco-friendly as much as possible. Why am I writing about it now? Because I still get asked to share the details of our wedding. Friends and family who were part of the celebration claim to love it. I presume, either they love us a lot or they are good liars. Nevertheless, I believe them.
So, here are our thoughts behind planning this wedding and why we choose:
– A temple that doesn’t allow any décor.
– An eco-friendly place for other small functions
– Having as minimal wastage as possible.
– Supporting local artisans and social enterprises
Venue
Why Nandi Hills
We got married at a temple in Nandi Hills, Bangalore. We never thought of having a destination wedding, but it turned out to be one eventually. And also the fact that it was in Nandi Hills was another highlight for us, as we both love mountains and are into trekking and adventure. Nandi Hills was also equidistant for us from Bombay and our extended families, mine from Mangalore and Sushant’s from Hyderabad. The tickets weren’t very expensive and the travel not very hectic.
Bhoga Nandeeshwara Temple for the Wedding Rituals
We weren’t keen on getting married in a hall, we wanted a place, which holds significance and reflected our personalities. We wanted an outdoor venue, which had heritage and history. Sushant always wanted to get married in a temple (he has his reasons), so we started looking at many temples in and around Bombay, but nothing attracted us. So we decided to check South Indian temples, as both of us love South Indian Temple architecture. After a lot of research, I came across Bhoga Nandeeshwara Temple at Nandi Hills. When I saw the photos online, I fell in love with the beautiful and intricate architecture and its history. It was just what we wanted. I managed to get the temple office number online and spoke to the manager. He asked me to visit the temple once. So, we decided to visit. The first time when we saw the temple in real, we just knew it that this is where we want to get married. There is something very positive and calming about this temple that pulls you towards it. If you haven’t been to this place yet, then you must. After a quick chat with the manager, he told us that they do not entertain anything fancy inside the temple. The rules were clear:
– No Decoration
– No Flowers
– No Eatables
– No Chairs
– The Wedding rituals would be as per the temple tradition.
The moment we heard the rules, we were happy because it was just how we wanted. We zeroed on the place for its simplicity, history, and the gorgeous architecture.
Bhoga Nandeeshwara is said to be the oldest temple in Karnataka. It is said that the initial construction happened during the 9th century AD by the Bana Queen Ratnavali. What attracted me about the temple is that it has been built by five various dynasties during their ruling period – the Ganga dynasty, Cholas, Hoysalas, Pallavas, and finally the Vijayanagara kings and is dedicated to Lord Shiva and various stages of his life – childhood, adolescence, and marriage. Over the years various sections were added and renovated by these dynasties without hampering each other’s architectural style as a mark of respect.
Discovery Village for other functions
We choose Discovery Village for our pre-wedding functions and post-wedding lunch. It is an eco-friendly resort at the foothills of Nandi Hills. They follow zero-waste policy and sustainable environmental practices like rainwater harvesting, composting, alternative energy optimization upcycled, and eco-friendly architecture to name a few. It is surrounded by the picturesque Nandi Hills, greenery and wildlife just the way we like. The cottages are tastefully done and have a rustic look. The roof of each of the cottages is made of Mangalore tiles giving it an earthy feel. The rooms are named after various birds that one can spot there (which is in abundance).
What I loved about this place is – their polite and humble staff including their marketing representative Priyanka. She was our point of contact from day 1 when we first visited the resort till our wedding day. Priyanka would hear all our queries with a smile never even once saying a no to anything. She came up with a solution for everything and made sure that everything went smoothly. She was in constant touch with us for almost six months before the wedding and even recommended Sushma and her team for helping us in planning the decoration and other coordination. I think more than us, Priyanka was worried about our wedding. This speaks a lot about a person and that’s how experiences are made in the hospitality industry. I am a fan of these humans of Discovery Village for life. In fact for our anniversary, we had plans of visiting Discovery Resort.
The Functions
As I am a Mangalorean and Sushant a Telugu, we tried to incorporate rituals from both the side to respect each other’s family. So there was Haldi as per Telugu tradition, followed by a fun Mehendi with some games and music, and the evening ended with a dance night where we wanted our guests to let their hair down and dance their night away and the next day morning, we had our wedding at the temple. The temple follows its own wedding rituals, and all the weddings that take place there happen as per their rituals. So we followed it and added one or two of Mangalorean and Telugu elements.
We didn’t have a structured flow for any event. We kept it fluid so that people didn’t feel constrained and could enjoy it. As it was a small guest list of close-knit family and friends, we just wanted them to have fun and enjoy the beauty of both Discovery Resort and Bhoga Nandeeshwara Temple.
Haldi
Mehendi
Dance Night
Wedding
Wedding Trousseau
Special occasions especially if it is a wedding, we end up buying things that we might not use again in our life. These things come with a price because the moment you say the word “Wedding” the prices shoot up (long live commercialization). There is so much pressure about making everything look grand, that we often forget the beauty of simplicity. Simple things can equally look grand too. Sushant and I love buying things locally from artisans and sustainable brands and also of recycling as much as possible. So, we involved products made by local artisans and social enterprises.
I don’t apply make-up. For me, make-up = kajal, so for my Haldi and Mehendi, my sister did my make-up, which was just a kajal, eyeliner, and some shimmer compact. The only time I had a stylist was for the dance night and the wedding.
Mehendi Look
As Mehendi gets messy, I choose to wear a silk-cotton top and a skirt. I got the top stitched from my longtime designer Ritu and the skirt is from one of my favourite sustainable clothing brand, Ukti Everyday. Along with being a sustainable clothing brand, they also work with artisans. I wore my favourite silver FabIndia necklace and earrings from my personal collection for the Mehendi.
Dance Night Look
For the dance night, I upcycled my old saree gifted by Sushant through Shweta from Why So Blue. She converted this saree into a gorgeous lehenga and a blouse that I could be used as separates for any future occasion. I paired it with a junk neckpiece and earrings from my accessory collection.
Wedding Look
I was very specific that I want to buy my saree from a weaver, hence after much researching and with a friend Neha’s help, I managed to buy my wedding saree from the weavers. Neha is a designer and works with local artisans; hence I knew her contacts are going to be authentic. As for the jewelry, I choose to include pieces that are dear to me. I am very close to my Amma, my sister and to my late grandmother and as respect towards these women in my life, I wore my mom’s wedding necklace, my favorite pearl earrings gifted by my sister for one of my birthday and my late grandmom’s bangles. Along with this, I wore my sister’s vanki (armband) and other imitation temple jewelry, you can say why to spend so much when you can reuse or recycle as I don’t believe in spending a bomb on wedding trousseau.
Wedding Wastage
Weddings create beautiful memories, but they are also high on wastage. Our main objective while planning this wedding was to have minimal wastage as much as possible mainly by following sustainable ways of doing things and recycling. And to control wastage, we had minimal decoration using only local flowers like marigold, and wherever possible we tried using the natural beauty at Discovery Resort. The Haldi was set-up in the butterfly garden of the resort, and the space for Mehendi was under a small fig tree overlooking the pool. The only big function we had was the dance night a day before the wedding. This was set-up in the open ground. And our wedding lunch was served on a banana leaf in a true South Indian style.
The flowers used during the functions were used for composting by the resort. Discovery also follows a strict food disposal system, so food wastage during the two-day functions got segregated and used by them.
Welcome Kit and Favours
For the guests, we had a Welcome Kit, which had local South Indian delicacies and a note. I love giving handwritten notes/letters and customized things to my loved ones. Keeping this in mind, I wanted to give something that expressed our gratitude and would remind the guests of us. To express our gratitude to the guests who took the time to be part of our wedding, we presented:
– Nandi Bull representing Nandi Hills (the place we got married). This was sourced locally and is made by local artisans in Bangalore.
– Bride and Groom fridge magnet dolls made by the talented Handmade Cottage. This is a home business run by two sisters in Manipur. I must say there were only two weeks left for the wedding when I contacted them and asked them to make these dolls. In such short notice, they managed it so well.
– Handwritten “Thank You” note with our wedding artwork.
– A trinket holder made by the women of Dishaa Pratishthaan, an NGO working for the betterment of the women.
Photographers
The most important thing for me was having a photographer who understands our personalities and captures the moments as it is. When we were looking for photographers, I realized that I might have to sell my kidney to pay them (just joking). I understand that it is a lot of work for a photographer, but when you have a tight budget you can’t afford to splurge. I had lost hopes of finding a photographer fitting our budget, that’s when, I came across Aamras Studio, recommended by a friend, Kartik. They did an excellent job of capturing every moment.
Good things not necessarily have to be expensive, and we as a country are blessed to have so many talented artisans and handicrafts. All you need to do is approach them because buying and supporting local brands, artisans and social enterprises are equally important.
And this is how our wedding was planned. It came with its share of difficulties; because according to the norms, weddings should be over the top and when you ask for simple things, not everyone understands it. Indian Wedding Industry is estimated to be around 40-50 billion in size. Perhaps that’s why there is a generalized perception that any couple planning to get married must look at a wedding celebration defined by this industry. But, what if there are couples that do not want to follow the set rules of a wedding celebration? For such couples, it becomes difficult (not impossible) to deal and to explain that Weddings can be in a different way too. While one decides to marry, the biggest worry often is, “If we don’t follow the usual way of a wedding, then what will people say?” A simple solution to this is, “You still do what you want to do.” People will keep talking, but what is important is you are marrying for your happiness and not for others.
We are lucky to have families that understood why we wanted a close-knit wedding celebration without many frills around. But it wasn’t an easy task to explain these things to the world including a few vendors. The moment you say the words, “wedding, bride and groom” everything changes and the prices hit the sky. Though we did our best to make our wedding a simple affair and have minimal wastage through incorporating sustainable and recyclable ways and by having minimal use of plastic, yet we realized there are a few things that go out of your control because the wedding industry and the society are still not fully aligned to this thought. But it’s changing with more and more couples being thoughtful and conscious of the things they do for the wedding.
We had a very tight budget, which many told us was impossible to work with for such unusual demands. And not the one to spend lavishly on things, we were adamant about doing it our way instead of following the usual norms. Everything was managed on a shoestring budget without compromising on anything. And I would like to believe that we were able to do a good job. And as with any event, there were a few things that didn’t go as per the plan, and about which I still crib to my family, hahaha, nevertheless it gave us many memories to cherish lifelong.
“Celebrations can be simple, yet beautiful. We just need to be conscious of how we do it without creating much damage to the environment and to our pocket.”
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